Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
