Me too!
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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