it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
