at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
