My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
