do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
