Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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