So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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