you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
