while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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