I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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