So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize