he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
