I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
