Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
