Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
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Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
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We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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