What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
