so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
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