girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
