oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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