Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
