We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
