just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize