Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
