Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I would fuck him just for his dog
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
