I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
