so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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