He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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