God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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