Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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