I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
