just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
