I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize