i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
