We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
