this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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