Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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