Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
