so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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