I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
