At least make sure they are 18
Why
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
