I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
