hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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