guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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