We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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