she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
