operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
