Do you still have your period?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
