I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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