his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
