wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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