i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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