So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
