i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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