She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
