turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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