after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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