dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Randomize
