my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Come share oat with me in your robe
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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