i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
